I struggle with anxiety and depression. For the longest time I thought it was just depression, learning that anxiety was why I couldn’t do things day to day was devastating. I honestly thought it was “I was just in a mood”. I didn’t know or realize that anxiety and depression are like best friends who won’t be separated. If I am honest with myself, they have become my friends.
Now the whole point of even bringing this up. I have not written or thought about writing since December 10th. I kept saying I need to write, then depression says “you can’t even keep up with Christmas shopping”. It was right, I struggled the closer it got the harder it was to function. Anxiety showed up and showed me how out of control it can get. Now that being said, I was such a mess. Christmas was perfect, Depression and Anxiety had me convinced it would never be enough. All while Daddy T-Rex helped and supported me. He tells me not to listen to them, helps keep me motivated, chasing my dreams. Depression tells me I will never be together enough for him. He tells me I don’t have to be put together for him to love me. Anxiety makes me sick and he tells it’s ok I’ll get it done tomorrow. He picks up where I fail. I couldn’t be more grateful to have him in my corner for this fight that never ends.
For now I’m on top of the Anxiety but the depression is kicking my ass. I am just going through the motions of my life, juggling. Pushing myself into a routine, not for myself but for my kids. I want them to know I fight and that winning this is possible. That no matter how dark it is there is always light.