Anxiety is a thief

We have discussed Anxiety here before. I have always struggled with it, lately I felt I was getting control over it. Like I have been Crushing it! I handled Baby T-REX’s IEP meeting like a boss. I realized I needed to push back my personal business plan, only freaked out about it for a week. I felt like that was pretty good. I was so consumed with being in control, that I missed what was happening to my daughter. I feel guilty, I am such a smother that I didn’t think I was missing anything. Since she came out she has been Happy or so I thought. Her anxiety was spinning out of control. The thing about her control mechanism is she picks at any sore on her body, it calms her. We have managed this well I thought. We discovered that she did the eraser challenge. If you have kids you know how dumb this challenge is, basically they rub an eraser on their skin to make a mark. She made marks down both of her wrists, which she then picked at when she got anxious. Picking is very common in the world of anxiety, even MiiMii T-REX does it. Apparently she has been picking at her wrists for a month before I discovered it. Off to the doctor we went. Now we have a wonderful PA that she sees, she was as upset as I was. We started her on low dose anxiety meds and got a referral in for therapy. Finding out that a big part of this anxiety is that she is gay and getting picked on in school is heartbreaking. It’s 2019 this is NOT suppose to happen. Lots of mixed emotions, I am suppose to protect her and I can’t protect her from the thief in her head. I know the damage this thief can do.

I feel like she gets pushed back most of the time because Baby T-REX’s issues are so in your face and her’s are hidden. Being a Mom is already hard enough. Watching your children struggle with things that you don’t understand is heartbreaking. All I have ever wanted for my children is for them to grow into to happy, kind people.  I feel like they are and maybe them each having something to over come will keep them kind.

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