Experiment and Jumble

My mind is a bit off right now. New meds… so stopping the Vulcan maker.

I now live in a state of juggling meds to get the effects we need, only one I take is actually for autoimmune. Everything else is an experiment on what might work for my body. I spend to much in bed, to much time pretending that I am perfectly healthy, that nothing is wrong, I tell my parents that I have this under control all while I am fighting to keep myself together and keep life as normal as possible for my children. I had to tell T-REX’s therapist because she couldn’t figure out why he hated going to school and my heart broke when she & I both realized this issue he is having is all my fault. I can’t fix it for him. I am grasping at threads of my life trying to keep everything together all while outside people are fighting about how serious a deadly virus is. People dying and the fact that it is even up for debate boggles my mind, I have been told I have nothing to fear because I am young and healthy. I beg my parents to be careful, to wear their masks and wash their hands because I need them to survive this, I need them. I am struggling to make since of any of this.

I should mention, I have had to give up alcohol, which isn’t a huge deal except some days when you are super stressed you want a glass of wine or a beer with your dinner. With the meds I will get violently ill, especially since the newest is just for that. I also have to give up my afternoon Yellow Redbull which is probably for the best, I just wish it was for a good reason. Redbull discontinuing it is the worst. I could hunt it down but that would mean going in so many gas stations so that is dangerous for me to do

My husband is in the process of being diagnosed with Alfa-Gal which is a weird thing by it’s self. Basically my house is one step closer to Vegetarian, beef and some dairy items making him sick. His aunt has this so thankfully we are prepared to deal with this. Plus with my dairy issues, we are on our way to the vegan life. Well I will probably keep eggs because they are wonderful and I love a good fried egg. One step of his issues handled and 5 more days of a heart monitor, which he started a new med a few days ago and it seems to be doing the trick. **Fingers crossed** Our insurance policy starts over soonish so if we can get the expensive parts done.

T-REX’s school is closed until the 30th due to COVID-19 but the rest of the town is still in school. And just like that I just got the call closing the rest of the schools. Man maybe I should call out a very fat check or that new SUV I have been dreaming of. I must be magic today. Sister is not loving him being home all week. They are both rocking the homework, Husband and I are taking turns on staying home with them. It is going to be a fun experiment I am hoping this doesn’t carry over into Christmas.

My sister’s office in Iowa went down with Covid-19. Which enforces the whole digital Thanksgiving idea. I am nervous that we are the only ones staying home. If they go back to school there will be a out break all over again. Makes me think I should buy some toilet paper before everyone starts buying it all up again.

This is just a whole jumble.

F*CK 2020

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