bend don’t break

We go through patterns, Since 2021 started I have been on the go none stop. Even when we have had to stay home and quarantine, all I did was work, house work. I kept telling myself this is investing in ourselves and in the paper. I took the time out to start reading Jamie Kern Lima’s book Believe it, even printed her work book to go with it. I though it would help me take some time for myself and help me focus on my writing because I really wanted to make more time. Be careful what you wish for, be specific, clear.

Well I got my time off, I also get to put my feet up. This is not exactly what I had in mind. in fact my thoughts were more get most of my work done and take Mondays or Fridays off and write and get my porch ready and enjoy writing outside. Not a broken Knee, not surgery, not a summer of physical therapy. Husband just bought me a new to me SUV for hauling children to the lake, for all the camping. Now I am not even sure I will be able to drive by the time school gets out.

Here I am in the ER screaming in pain, on my second dose of Dilaudid, and Toradol because one wasn’t helping at all. Tears running down my face, just thinking how am I going to do this until surgery. The receptionist comes in and asks if I am that Misty Crouse, that she feels like she is meeting a celebrity because she just loves reading what I write and looks forward to what I have to say each month. That of course just makes me cry even more. It still makes me cry, she was very lovely and it was kind of her to tell me that. I’m embarrassed how much I cried and screamed that first few days. I am still a little weepy I keep thinking she was a nudge to give me something to focus on while I heal, not knowing that I all ready put that I wanted more time to right out to the universe. I just wasn’t detailed in my request.

Surgery was yesterday, I’m still not feeling like myself. I got my second Moderna Vaccine this morning. I am grateful to have been able to still get it. I was terrified I would have to miss it. I know I’ll be sore tomorrow but it’s not like I am running marathons right now anyway. Trying to keep on the positive side. I have plenty of time to read and write, nap. I’m not missing the cleaning, I am missing making dinner and baking. I think once I get my bendable brace I will be able to at least make dinner. I think everyone is really missing that.

The dogs and cats have been hovering and snuggling me as much as they possibly can. Pop-Pop sent flowers. Our oldest has been making dinner, they aren’t doing to bad for being 12. Last night they made spaghetti and there were no leftovers, that is high praise in this house. A friend paid my ER copay, Insurance has paid more than I thought they would. All of Husbands friends have been so kind, from finding me a wheel chair to fixing it for my leg, our neighbor who is letting me use their spare walker with a seat. (which was wonderful today when I went to get my vaccine.) I am so blessed, when I am up and walking, Brownies all around!

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